Dezvoltare personală și profesională, cu cap și cu drag 'Smart with Heart' personal&professional development
Social media, websites that teach you how to build a career for yourself, books that promise to transform you in the creator of your own life – they all seem to aim one thing: open your eyes (within yourself) and be who you always wanted to be. And do it now! Don’t wait any longer, you have already wasted your entire life (up until now), so now is the time to act. Quit your job and start doing what you love to do without ever feeling like it’s work.
I couldn’t agree more. Except, well, if you’re in your twenties and you really don’t know what your thing is. Because I suspect that this ”illuminating literature” mainly addresses those in their thirties or more. Those who have tried quite a few career paths – or have been dedicating themselves to one in particular because they wanted to believe that is it – , put their efforts and intelligence into each of them, reached a certain level of satisfaction, and yet… now that you have reached maturity and embraced who you really are, letting go of any or all expectations family or society might have burdened you with, you are at that point in your life where you’re ready to meet your own expectations. And your expectations, are, of course, related to your uniqueness finding its place in this world. You are worth your self expression. Moreover, your self expression (in whatever form it takes) it’s worth dedicating yourself to entirely and providing for yourself at the same time. Why would any product, or service, of any company, be more valuable and desired than one of your own? What were any of the successful companies in the beginning, if not just a person with an idea and a healthy dose of self worth?
So, yes. By all means, do it. Bet on yourself.
I’m sure you are familiar with the idea that when you truly want something, then the entire Universe will conspire to help you get it. It may be true. The planets may align, the right people may enter your life, both to inspire and support you in your new journey. But what if they don’t? Let’s say that you quit your job, full of dreams and the confidence that you can do it (your “it”), but the Universe seems to not give a damn or, worse, it seems to do exactly the opposite of what you have been wisely advised to expect? You try. You try harder. And then harder and harder until you quit (it’s called common sense, right?). And you should. Because somewhere outside your inner universe there is this thing people like to call Life. And Life has this habit of making demands on your behalf, even if just for the “minor aspects”: food, clothing, health etc. And that’s not half of it. You feel the worst blow exactly where you were the most confident. And then you start doubting. And then you stop doubting, when doubt becomes certainty. So you return, defeated, to the system of “boxed individualities” that leaves you little room for your uniqueness but gives you the comfort of financial stability, a sense of security, and of being part of something that works, keeping you away from any big failures.
This is not what we want. This is definitely not what we want.
So, before you leap, check a few things:
Never ever compare yourself to others in your situation. Some people are plain lucky. It’s true and we all now it, whether some are willing to admit it or not. You may have to work hard for everything and that’s all right. Hard work is one sure way to reach the top. We both know what another way is, but we’re on a different topic here 🙂
Do you have the inner strength to go through rough times and resist the thought of abandonment? How persevering have you been in (as close as) similar situations in the past? How do you usually react when situations that affect you personally become difficult to control? How would you expect yourself to react when times get tougher? Work on it.
Is your inner strength (also known as belief in yourself) as powerful as to hold it together for you in case your closest friends or family may doubt you? And can you do that without blaming them? Will you have the strength to understand that any doubt they might have of you is actually stemming from their self-doubt? Can you keep cherishing them and loving them as they are? Well, of course, all based on the assumption that you know who your true friends are and have a normal family where people love each other – and if they are afraid for you is because they are afraid you might get hurt. Surely that in your circle of acquaintances – or even family – you have at least one person who simply can’t live with the thought of you being successful, or happy, or free – God forbid all of them at once! And they will only give you “the best of advice” to quit. Because they are miserable. And so should you be. And they have made too many compromises to be able to enjoy their own success and why should you be any different. But I’m not talking about them. You can always find these people. Somehow we all have at least one of them around us, to envy us even when we are down.
Can you handle time? Tic tac tic tac going slow, so so slow? Because it takes time. And some if it will be filled with worries. And that takes even longer.
Are you ready to give up your busy social life? (in case you have one, of course) And do it willingly, knowing that, for a while at least you’ll be so absorbed in your thing that you’ll forget about the classic idea of having fun (actually in the beginning will seem like indefinite because of the slow tic tac)? And sometimes it won’t be that you don’t have the time for it, but you will be more preoccupied than before and it’ll take you some time before reaching a balance. (By the way, it’s so much easier with work-life balance in a company. What will you balance now? Passion-life? My dreams- life? Hmm)
In case “your thing” is not a hit, will you take it as it is, without regretting you have spent your time and energy into it? Will you have the strength to meet your own limitations and accept them? Will you keep doing what you’re doing? Will this still be one of the best journeys of your life?
and yes, Can you handle success? Honestly, can you handle your own success and still be a mortal, like the rest of us? Or will you become one of those crazy billionaires who forgot that they didn’t come from another planet so they shouldn’t act like it. Will you still be a friend, a lover, a nice person to chat with on one of those social media websites? (Well all right, this is a personal note, you can be a crazy billionaire and still be successful 😉
Think of any other reasons why you could give up on yourself, do the best that you can do for your part of the deal and… you know what? I think the Universe will be so impressed with all the hard work you’ve done that it will conspire to support you. Even more than it has done so in the first place when endowing you with your unique blend of talents, abilities and dreams.
(foto: Totemuri pe drumul de dimineață, Ion Țuculescu)