Rosana Nedelciu

Dezvoltare personală și profesională, cu cap și cu drag 'Smart with Heart' personal&professional development

You want to be successful, but you don’t know what to do?

Ok, so sometimes you don’t know where to start. You know you want to be successful, you know you want to feel happy and fulfilled, but you just don’t know what to do to get there. And following the guidance of “listen to yourself, the answer lies within you” doesn’t work, simply because the only thing you’re saying to yourself is I don’t know. And that’s ok. I don’t know is always a good place to start.

At this particular point in time, there is no need to reinvent the wheel. You don’t need to spend years and years meditating on what your options might be. At this point, reading really comes in handy. Self-help books and articles on how to, even on 7 steps or 10 habits of successful people, they can all be very helpful as long as you don’t stick to one point of view exclusively, even if it’s mainstream or in fashion, or sworn by to give immediate results.

Get as much info as possible from as many sources as possible, but don’t hurry to take those exact steps or apply those recipes.

Instead, get in a playful mood, learn to play a little.

Which is just another way of saying Expose yourself to learning.

Make “learned” your personal objective, and not so much “successful” at this point. Learn about yourself, about how you feel when doing one thing or another, about what you will or won’t do in a given situation (your principles), about what you imagine or desire versus what you need. Don’t judge, just observe. Test your limits, play with them by taking small steps and see how it feels. Does the saying “push yourself beyond your limits” attract you? Great! Then go for it! Then again, if it doesn’t, don’t follow it. You don’t have to be a YES Man or Woman. Do you feel comfortable taking a particular step you read about, and does it brig results? Fantastic! Go further on that road. But if you don’t feel comfortable or it doesn’t bring results, just ditch it. You don’t have to spend your time and energy to prove that somebody’s idea is good or applies to you.

(A note here: If you are willing to invest a lot of money into a coaching or development program, please, please don’t do it right from the start, but only after you have tested some of their ideas/methods and saw they work for you. Otherwise, you risk to be bound to a useless course which you will struggle to prove right – to no good end – because of your investment. Because you paid for it, you will want to endorse it with some kind of value and you will persist in something that is obviously not working for you, or not good for you.)

Now, while you are learning about yourself, pay attention to the outside world. See what happens when you say or do this or that. Again, observe.

Don’t learn about yourself in a protective bubble. Be mindful to develop yourself in a way that helps you adjust and adapt to your external environment, because this is the environment of your existence. You live in the world, not in a bubble.

Avoid the biggest mistake that people make when they work on their personal (and spiritual) development: they start to feel either “above” or “outside”. They feel disconnected from the world and it’s “small or miser ways”, they feel disheartened and they don’t see any purpose to doing anything because it wouldn’t matter to the world. Yes, it does. It does. You just need to find your purpose in this world that functions, as it does sometimes, in its small or miser ways. The beauty of it is that your purpose can actually address some of these issues, if you wish to do so and if you feel comfortable doing so.

The point is to expose yourself to learning about yourself and about life.

And then, of all that info, see which are the pieces that have stood the test of playing, of personal experience. See which of them are still standing and make you feel secure and confident, and use those as your foundation pillars. Some pillars will be about yourself, some about the world and others about yourself in the world. Each of them needs to be given the same importance, the same weight as the others. And together, they need to be balanced and strong enough to provide you with a solid foundation for the success that you will be building upon it.

Because earthquakes will come. Whether from the outside world or in the form of personal setbacks, they will come. But when that happens and your foundation is strong, the worst that it can do to your building is to break a few windows and mess up some furniture. Big deal! You’ll just use it as an opportunity to revamp yourself!

So start by daring to play.

Daring to learn.

Daring to expose yourself to life.

And you will train yourself for different and various types of being and feeling successful. And the best part is that, built this way, your success won’t separate the world. Your success will link this world together.

francisc sirato fata-citind

(photo: Girl reading, Francisc Sirato)



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